Seeping Through My Heart
by Orange Rose
Summary: A songfic. Tsuzuki avoids Hisoka for unknown reasons. Will Hisoka ever catch up with him?


Title: Seeping Through My Heart  
Author: Orange Rose  
Rating: R  
Warnings: Angst/Drama... Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life" is the BGM for this fic.  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Hisoka, but other than the first season, I own nothing of Yami no Matsuei or this song for that matter.  
Note: "~~" Signify the lyrics of the song. "()" Signify soft lyrics or parts that echo.  
  
  
'A high level of spiritual energy,' was the thought that fluttered throughout Tsuzuki's mind as he walked through the park at night. Though this thought flooded Tsuzuki's brain, it did not infiltrate his heart. His heart was what was troubling Tsuzuki presently. The heart that trembled with uncertainty and fear of rejection. The heart that made his blood boil in frustration. The heart that beat that much faster whenever Tsuzuki caught a glimpse of the emerald-eyed beauty that was suddenly haunting his dreams. Yes, Tsuzuki was in deep trouble.  
  
~how can you see into my eyes like open doors~  
  
Since when had the kid seeped through a heart that was shielded from the world by a wall of darkness? A wall of faithlessness? A wall that allowed Tsuzuki to put on a facade of normality? The kid broke through it. The affection he felt for the boy steadily increased to the point that he can no longer hide it from himself, let alone try to hide it from an empath. Yet, it wasn't always this way. Tsuzuki was never one to slip out feelings that would make others reject him. Unfortunately, whenever anything dealt with Hisoka, Tsuzuki's emotions always resurfaced. Tsuzuki stopped as he felt a drop of water fall on his head. He tilted his head up to find that the leaves of the trees were damp. Apparently, it had rained.  
  
~leading you down into my core~  
  
Hisoka was in search of Tsuzuki, who had been avoiding him for about a week now. The first few days of such avoidance did not give Hisoka enough reason to believe that he repulsed Tsuzuki. The last few days, however, led Hisoka to believe that Tsuzuki was keeping something very important from him. A cold feeling slowly crept its way to the bottom of Hisoka's stomach. What if Tsuzuki no longer deemed him worthy enough to be his partner anymore? The sound of Hisoka's shoes slapping the small water puddles came to a stop.  
  
~where I've become so numb~  
  
Tsuzuki had always put everyone else's feelings before his own. He cared about others very much, but never revealed much of his own feelings and doubts to anyone. Not even to his own partner. Hisoka had blocked his own heart from others. But, lately Hisoka had opened up more than he thought he should. Hisoka lowered his head, his eyes shadowed and unreadable.  
  
~without a soul~  
  
The thought of Tsuzuki rejecting him as his family and others rejected him left Hisoka's entire being without any warmth. Hisoka's entire body suddenly felt drained from all emotion. Drained from any senses at all.  
  
~my spirit sleeping somewhere cold~  
  
The sound of footsteps reached Hisoka's ears and he looked up just in time to see Tsuzuki standing about fifteen feet to the right of him.   
  
~until you find it there and lead it back home~  
  
An uncomfortable silence ensued. Tsuzuki's eyes were locked with Hisoka's. Though they were far away, Tsuzuki saw the glint of unshed tears in Hisoka's gaze. Tsuzuki steadily walked towards Hisoka, all doubt gone.  
  
(Wake me up)  
~Wake me up inside~  
(I can't wake up)  
~Wake me up inside~  
(Save me)  
~call my name and save me from the dark~  
  
All doubt was gone...  
  
(Wake me up)  
~bid my blood to run~  
(I can't wake up)  
~before I come undone~  
(Save me)  
~save me from the nothing I've become~  
  
Hisoka slowly walked closer to Tsuzuki as well until they were but a foot away from each other. Tsuzuki hesitantly took one of Hisoka's hands. Hisoka winced as many strong emotions surged through him. One emotion managed to surpass the rest as it matched the same emotion that was clouding Hisoka's mind heart and head. Hisoka closed his eyes as his lips parted to suspire. Hisoka's eyes opened again to reveal a small spark that took Tsuzuki by surprise.  
  
~now that I know what I'm without~  
  
Hisoka reached up to place his other hand on Tsuzuki's cheek. Tsuzuki turned his head and gently kissed Hisoka's palm. A small smile graced Hisoka's lips as he slipped his hand around Tsuzuki's head, slowly drawing him closer.   
  
~you can't just leave me~  
  
Tsuzuki leaned forward, kissing Hisoka deeply. Both of Hisoka's arms wrapped around Tsuzuki's neck as Tsuzuki pulled them even closer.   
  
~breathe into me and make me real~  
  
The clouds above them began to pour. Tsuzuki and Hisoka did not seem to mind, for, they continued to kiss even though the rain fell upon them.  
  
~bring me to life~  
  
Hisoka and Tsuzuki lost themselves within their senses as the kiss intensified...  
  
(Wake me up)  
~Wake me up inside~  
(I can't wake up)  
~Wake me up inside~  
(Save me)  
~call my name and save me from the dark~  
  
...And intensified.  
  
(Wake me up)  
~bid my blood to run~  
(I can't wake up)  
~before I come undone~  
(Save me)  
~save me from the nothing I've become~  
  
They pulled away, seemingly aware that it had started to rain. Tsuzuki grabbed Hisoka's hand and ran to find the shelter of a hotel. Rushing to his room, Tsuzuki dragged Hisoka inside and ushered him to the bathroom. While awaiting his turn, Tsuzuki thought back to when he first realized that Hisoka would be his new partner.  
  
(Bring me to life)  
~I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside~  
(Bring me to life)  
  
Tsuzuki thought back to when Hisoka was kidnapped.  
  
~frozen inside~  
  
Tsuzuki thought back to when Hisoka came to him through the fire created by one of his guardian spirits.  
  
~without your touch~  
  
Hisoka had wanted to save him.  
  
~without your love~  
  
With only several words...  
  
~darling~  
  
Hisoka had rescued him when he most willingly sought death.  
  
~only you are the life among the dead~  
  
In the meantime, Hisoka washed away the droplets of cold rain.   
  
~all this time I can't believe I couldn't see~  
  
He put a hand to his lips, pondering. Possibly even unbelieving.  
  
~kept in the dark but you were there in front of me~  
  
Tsuzuki stood, eyes widened, as Hisoka passed by him wearing nothing but a towel.   
  
~I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems~  
  
Hisoka shoved Tsuzuki into the bathroom so that he could get dressed.  
  
~got to open my eyes to everything~  
  
Dressing himself quickly, Hisoka walked over to the window to watch the raining night sky.  
  
~without a thought without a voice without a soul~  
  
Moments later, Tsuzuki stepped out of the shower and got dressed also.  
  
~don't let me die here~  
  
Tsuzuki smiled as he saw Hisoka staring outside the window.  
  
~there must be something more~  
  
Carefully walking up to the boy, Tsuzuki hugged Hisoka from behind, placing a kiss on the back of Hisoka's neck.  
  
~bring me to life~  
  
Hisoka turned around in Tsuzuki's arms, returning the hug.  
  
(Wake me up)  
~Wake me up inside~  
(I can't wake up)  
~Wake me up inside~  
(Save me)  
~call my name and save me from the dark~  
  
And not letting go.  
  
(Wake me up)  
~bid my blood to run~  
(I can't wake up)  
~before I come undone~  
(Save me)  
~save me from the nothing I've become~  
  
Tsuzuki tightened his hold on Hisoka.  
  
(Bring me to life)  
  
Thanking silently the forces behind how they met...  
  
~I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside ~  
  
Tsuzuki and Hisoka embraced, hoping that time...  
  
(Bring me to life)  
  
Would forever be their friend. 


End file.
